Puzzle Pieces of Relationships

Submitted from our guest blogger “Sexy Legs”:

Trying to find the right mate can be a lot like putting a puzzle together. It starts off a jumbled mess of random pieces that you want to assemble to create something beautiful. You look at the picture on the box to see where the pieces are supposed to fit until the image is complete.

Finding the right relationship is very similar. We all have the picture in our heads of what our perfect relationship is. As we meet new people and date we get closer to completing that image. We learn which pieces fit where, find some that don’t seem to belong anywhere, some that fit only on two sides, continuing the process until there is only one piece left. Though the process is tedious, we learn from it. Things we like, things we don’t, and all the while the image of that “perfect” relationship ideal becomes clearer and clearer as we add each puzzle piece. One day, that certain person comes along that is like the “last” puzzle piece. The one that fits perfectly in that spot and completes the image and makes it reality.

When they kiss you for the first time and you feel the electricity to your toes. When you hold each other and your bodies meld together, and the curves of your bodies just mold to each other. When you make love and it seems like you move as one. Effortless, just like that last puzzle piece. There is no need to twist or manipulate the piece to try to make it fit, it just slides into place completing the picture you have in your head.

I seem to have found my last puzzle piece. The person who just ” fits” on all sides. I continue to be amazed at how effortless the relationship has evolved. I had always heard people talk about someone being the yin to their yang but honestly thought it was all bullshit. I was a confirmed cynic when it came to love and romance.

I had been in serious relationships before, even been married, but never have I felt the “click” that I felt when I met this man. I could almost hear that last piece snapping into place. On every front we fit: companionship, ideals, values, and passion. It all just works with no effort at all and it feels wonderful.

So next time you have that bad date, or horrible breakup, just think that you are one piece closer to finishing your puzzle and finding that last perfect fit.

~ Sexy Legs {guest blogger}

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My sexual dating diatribe

Him:
So, what are you all about? What are you looking for on here?

Me:
Hmmm… that’s a loaded question. I’m not sure what I’m looking for on [insert ridiculous internet dating site name here] specifically … I have yet to find it.

From a life perspective, I’m looking for someone challenging enough to keep me interested; love life, sex and good times as much as I do — if it leads to more, then I’m interested. I’d love to be lost in a moment with someone and really have them care for me as much as I do for them … and be really sexually compatible.  I haven’t figured out if that’s too much to expect or realistic of another human being. Did I mention I like sex?

I’ve been deeply in love and I’ve had my share of flings that were as forgettable as a rainstorm. I’m okay with a great friend (with benefits) to spend time with too. After all, “dinner for one” night after night gets a little boring!

I keep giving it another shot until I find it. It’s the hard-headed redhead in me that refuses to give up. Bottoms up!

~ Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Happy Birthday to me!

I’ve been a slacker on the blog because I’ve been having a little too much fun! I’m long overdue on an update on my sexual shenanigans. It all started with the inevitable birthday celebration …

As usual, we ended up at the local Mexican place and Rico Suave joined us in the festivities. A pitcher of Margaritas and a soulful serenade of Feliz Cumpleaños later, I was headed home for the night. Birthdays during the week suck because I have to work!

Still feeling the ambition of the tequila I decided to take the dog for a short walk. Upon my return, I was met at the end of the drive by Mr Rico Suave making a bootie call. Why the hell not?  It’s my birthday … and I can never say no to foreign men. He has the most compelling grin and devilish eyes.

He’s such an instant turn-on for me, I think my pants were half off by the time we got into the house. It was quick and dirty, but really great sex for two drunks! LOL! He’s one of the best birthday presents a girl could ever have, even if he’s on the “casual sex” list.

~GTiL

Are you magically delicious?

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day we have a Lucky Charms marshmallow sex quiz:

Green clovers:
You’re a happy-go-lucky type in bed. You don’t take anything too seriously in the bedroom or elsewhere and always manage to have a good time, even if you have someone else with you.

Blue diamonds:
Your thoughts in bed are mostly about what you’ll get later. “If he really enjoys this, will he buy me that mink coat?” is probably what’s going through your mind.

Orange Stars:
You expect to be the center of attention in bed. You expect your partner to spend most of his time pleasing you and when you do something for him, you expect enthusiastic moaning if not applause. People who like orange stars often have mirrors over their beds, not because they are turned on by watching what is being done, but because they want to be able to watch themselves having a good time.

Pink hearts:
You’re the romantic type. You like your partner to whisper romantic phrases into your ear and, if he’s too distracted to form coherent phrases, you’ll settle for romantic syllables.

Purple horseshoes:
Your tastes are modern, uninhibited, and somewhat warped. You like variety in the bedroom, especially when you can include handcuffs, chains, swingsets, and chocolate pudding. Be careful when going out on a picnic with anyone who likes purple horseshoes–she’s likely to pin you down with croquet hoops when you’re not looking and who knows what could happen next?

Yellow Moons:
You’re more interested in satisfying your partner’s needs than your own. You prefer to lie back and wait for your partner to jump on you and express her needs verbally or nonverbally. People who like yellow moons usually own several pairs of handcuffs and other instruments of kinky sex just in case someone should ever want to tie them up and ravish them.

Those little oat bits that aren’t marshmallows at all:
You probably don’t like sex anyway and don’t need to read this article. People who prefer the oat bits usually become accountants, librarians who work at the reference desk, or government employees; these people like to chow down on a big bowl brimming with oat bits before a tough day of protesting suggestive lyrics in rock music.

More than friends?

So I wrote, for the first time in ages, only a couple days ago … about my bestie guy friend and our killer sex life behind his serious girlfriend’s back.  Well let me tell ya (and trust I will go back and write about my FF and his huge fucking hose soon) things have taken a HARD CORE left turn … er right turn … not entirely sure.

Let me start with this … I adore this man.  He rocks my world in so many ways its not even funny.  He is the ONE person I know I can be ME totally ME around.  In all my geeky retarded splendor.  Oh yeah.  He likes me for the stupid me.  Those guys are few and far between.

So here is this guy, so perfect it’s like I was cut from his missing rib, but so far from my type it would make your head spin.  I date bikers and truckers, zz tops lookin’ mother fuckers and bad ass boys.  And here is this mostly put together business man who comes home from work in dress pants/shoes/shirt/and even a tie at times.  WHAAAA???!!!  No 9″ long goatee.  No tattoos.  No oddball piercings.  No record (that I know of) and yet someone that drives me so crazy I want to hump his leg randomly when we’re out.

So his birthday was this past Friday.  I thought long and hard and came up with a gift that no one but me would ever get him.  Story for another time…

Thursday we had an epic day together – hot and heavy in an abandoned army depot.  Friday, major suck fest, and not in the hot and sexy way.  In the “my life sucks” way.  Hard to face not seeing him because he is with his girlfriend.  Major gut check.  I wasn’t shy about how I felt and he caught onto the fact that I’m tired of waiting for him to get shit figured out.

~Not Yer Bitch

Fantasy Fulfilled

Submitted from our guest blogger “Sexy Legs”:

I have a friend that I have known for years. Somehow recently though that friendship morphed into an online “friends with benefits” type relationship – not sure how or what made the relationship shift but I’m not complaining. Sexting and pictures kept building an attraction and desire for each other that I never thought would get to be fulfilled.

This man turns me on like no other has! Just hearing his voice as he’s telling me things he wants to do to me makes me wet. And my, what an imagination! He seems to never run out of ideas for fun. Funny, smart and sexy… a triple threat to be sure.  Much to both our surprise a circumstance came up to present an opportunity for us to meet in person and indulge ourselves in every naughty thought or idea we had dreamed of doing to each other and so we both jumped on it.

I have to say it is the single best sexual experience I have ever had. As it replays in my head again and again I feel like I lived a fantasy and wonder if it was even real.

We met at a hotel. I had dressed in an outfit I knew he would love – heels, short skirt with no panties and low cut top (no bra of course). I had a suitcase with me packed with all the “accessories” that he had requested for our weekend of fun. I met him in the lobby where he greeted me with a chaste kiss but a wicked glimmer in his eyes.

I followed him up to the room and there were only seconds between the time I let go of my suitcase and the time I found myself pinned to the wall being kissed. After several moments of frenzied kissing he ripped my shirt open, thank goodness for snaps, and started kissing down my neck and my breasts as his hand worked his way up my skirt finding the center of me and began rubbing and teasing my clit.

My hands reached for his pants because there was way too much fabric between us. He paused just long enough to take of his shirt before he resumed kissing and groping and sucking and flicking. I finally got his pants off and freed his cock which was exactly what I was wanting. He lifted me up and plunged himself deep in me fucking me right there against the wall.

The feeling was incredible to have him pumping in and out of me while kissing me hard and keeping me pinned to the wall. I didn’t last very long at all and the first orgasm of many those 2 days washed over me. He carried me from the wall over to the bed and laid me down and flipped me over to continue fucking me from behind, pinning me down to the bed, and giving me the occasional hard smack on the ass. I came again and this time he came with me. What an awesome start to the weekend! I honestly don’t remember thinking one coherent thought other than MORE! I was just consumed by passion and enjoying the feel of him.

The rest of the weekend continued like that with that much passion. I remember each encounter vividly and remember thinking I just could not get enough of this man. I wanted more skin to touch, more kisses, more of his cock, and he certainly gave me what I wanted. I lost count of the number of orgasms I had other than it was in the double digits. But the best thing is how we  easily transitioned from our friendship to lovers many times over the course of those 2 nights.

I eliminated the word no from my vocabulary and allowed him to indulge his imagination. This is a decision I will never regret. The man flipped every switch I had and I’m pretty sure installed a few new ones. Even when he was tired he made most excellent use of my toys to continue to give me as much pleasure as I could handle … and more.

He knows his way around a woman’s body and how to build the excitement to maximize the pleasure. He also knows exactly what he likes and what turns him on and the confidence to just say it which is so damn sexy to me. With him I felt like could be completely uninhibited for the first time in my life and it was such a liberating feeling.

The best part is we parted still friends with really no awkwardness at all. The whole experience was so much better beyond what I expected. Would I fuck him again given the chance? That would be a resounding HELL YES!! But even if that never happens I have the most awesome memories that are sure to give me wet dreams for years to come.

~ Sexy Legs (Guest Blogger)

Things that make you wet

From our honest and loyal Facebook fans with a few of my own thrown in there too.

– Men in kilts
– Innocently bending over when he’s looking
– Bald men with tattoos
– Sucking on my fingers
– Humming in my ear
– Lightly blowing on my neck and ears
– Licking me like a lollipop
– Pulling my hair
– Feather light touches
-Kissing my stomach
-Biting my neck when we’re doggie style
– A normal text turns into sexting
– Knowing you shouldn’t do something and not stopping
– Making them say what they want even though you already know
– When he runs his finger down my spine
– Nibbling in all the right places
– Knowing someone else might be watching you
– Whisker burn
– Biting my lip
– Still smelling him on the pillow afterward

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~ Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Victim of Sexsomnia?

Sex Kitten (with Claws) and I were chatting about previous lovers one night and we started talking about The Egyptian. He had a few tendencies that I’d never seen in a lover before. When we were in bed he would be fully asleep  but yet would “hump” me from behind or even masturbate and never wake up. He was an incredibly sound sleeper and I’m a light sleeper so this was obviously a problem. Sometimes I was only getting 4-6 hours of sleep per night over a string of 4 nights or so. It made me incredibly crabby and over-tired.

I never made light of the issue but he would never take me seriously when I told him about it. He actually thought I was being “mean” and picking on him. He flat out said I was lying and never believed me. Then I read about Sexsomnia:

Sexsomnia, or sleep sex, is a rare condition where a person engages in sexual activity during sleep. This can involve masturbation, or initiating sexual contact with a partner.

I’d be interested to hear comments or stories about anyone’s experiences with this. For curiosity sake.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

The making of the best porn movie ever

There is one man in my life that makes me incredibly wet and horny as hell. He’s on my short-list of Best Sex Ever. I didn’t know it on our first encounter, but it’s an ill-fated relationship because he’s married. I always vowed never to be “the other woman” but now I’m officially a dirty bitch – but for this one, I don’t care.

Rico Suave is a real-life fantasy and I’m in total ecstasy when I’m with him. He’s 9 years younger than me and Mexican. He’s totally ripped in his arms and chest and has a very grab-able and lick-able ass. He has the most beautiful smile and is 100% man but without the ego – I don’t think he has any idea how hot and fuck-able he is.

I’ve known Rico Suave for almost 3 years and I recently saw him on a night out celebrating a birthday with friends. He is always a flirt with me and I was pleasantly surprised to see his car in my driveway when I got home.

If there is anyone who I might fantasize about it’s Rico Suave. There is so much passion and lust between us I feel like I’m in the hottest porn movie ever made. We went into my house and started kissing in the kitchen. He immediately went to my neck and breasts and then started pushing me toward the bedroom kissing me the whole way.

I barely remember him taking my clothes off or me undoing his. Within a minute his fingers were plunging into my wetness and I was moaning in pleasure. He pushed me onto the bed and teased me more with the tip of his hard cock and then thrust into me when he could not take any more.

He turned me and teased me from behind and I lifted my hips and he pushed in doggie style. I braced with my hands to make him go deeper and he pulled my head back with my long locks and teased me with his fingers to send me into a blissful orgasm.

I was completely lost in a world of ecstasy and eroticism at this point. He laid on his back and I covered him with my body teasing him with my erect nipples and wetness. I teased up and down his hard cock and then pushed down, letting him fill me. He held my breasts and I rocked my hips to yet another amazing orgasm.

He wasn’t done yet (thank goodness for younger men!) and he put me on my back and pushed into me. His body was slick with sweat and his muscles were pulsing and trembling as I ran my hands over him. I gripped his arms and wrapped my thighs around him to push him deeper into me. We both rode in rhythm until he exploded inside me and our flesh and muscles were twitching.

By far, some of the best sex I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to see my Rico Suave again. Every woman deserves to have sex this amazing at least once!

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time

sex toyOne of my dear, happily-married friends decided to rep a sex toy business for a little extra income (and obviously the fringe benefits). It was always discreet and she sometimes did “couple” parties that were a lot of fun. One night she had an all-women but “older” women group. The ladies were open to her suggestions and having a good time. After her presentation one of the ladies pulled her aside and said “I’m 50 years old, widowed and I’ve never had an orgasm”.

Without pause, my friend put her arm around her and said “well then, you’ve come to the right place!” It was really hard to hold in her astonishment but she vowed to rock this woman’s world after hearing this. And she did!

The woman bought a small vibrator that came highly recommended from everyone at the party. Within a few days my friend received an ecstatic phone call from her exclaiming that new little toy had taken her to a whole new world!

I guess you really can teach an old dog new tricks. 🙂

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Accepting truth and blowing off the hints

I have a lot of catching-up to do here. First off, Sex Kitten is right, I did hear from Airport Man via email. He said he’s been in Afghanistan but should be back in March and wants to come and see me – and of course he “thinks about me all the time”. Is there some sort of play-book here he’s writing from? I mean really, he must be horny at hell at this point. And then he signs off by saying “Have you thought about me from time to time?” Hmmmm … does thinking about his large throbbing dick count? That’s all I can remember right now … the licking, and kissing, and hot-as-hell sex. And it all just makes me super horny!

But the truth is, Airport Man is just not the guy for me. No matter how much my throbbing desires try to persuade me.

It’s gonna be a dry-spell kind of holiday … bring on the New Year!

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

I found the French hot button

Maybe I could even re-name it the “Easy Button” because that’s a good way to describe it = Sucking my fingers while he fingers me. I feel like I won the orgasm lottery!

Sex with him is slow, intense, deep and deliberate … And leaves me breathless. The passion in our bodies is so overwhelming I can barely put it into words. I love it when his arms and abs get hard when he’s pushing into me. I want to stop time when I’m naked with him – turn up the music, pull me in, because I want an overdose of this man!

After dinner and a movie we decided to hit a club for dancing and a few drinks. I loved feeling him get hard under his jeans in public. And even more fun to have everyone watch us dance “dirty” and tease each other – and the quintessential “I’m fucking you later” look.

The plus side of this is that I know he’s amazing in a hundred ways but the downside is that I have to keep saying goodbye. In the two years we’ve known each other, we’ve never made “plans” for a future visit. This time he asked if he could come back in January. I said yes … in a frighteningly committed way.

As they say: “Never go back to an old love, it’s like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends.” I know how this ends, but it’s a best-seller in my heart and always on my bookshelf.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Waking up in the arms of a French man

Sex Kitten is pissed at me but I think she’ll get over it. The French Man came back for a visit. He usually surprises me with a day or two notice – I can’t complain about the inconvenience – he wrote the book on seduction tactics.

After a drink at a local wine and tapas bar we got home and he pushed me against the wall; light teases, fierce kisses, licking and intense massaging all over my body until I almost exploded. I can’t even describe how stellar this man is in and out of bed.

I’m a boob girl. I don’t mean other boobs, just my own. I really need a man with a boob addiction. Nothing sends me over the edge more than teasing my breasts. The Frenchie mastered the hot button on me during our morning sex adventure.

He was laying behind me with one hand under and around me teasing my nipple. The other hand was between my legs with light-as-a-feather fingers gliding over me while he was thrusting and pushing into me from behind. I shuddered and shaked … It sent me over the edge to ecstasy.

We’ve definitely mastered the art of morning sex. And the whisker burn was worth it.  Je vous remercie de tout cœur.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Size does count

I have yet to introduce The Man of My Dreams to the blog, but this was a recent conversation I had with him about The Boob Man and his limp penne pasta-sized penis.

Him: Oh, that whole post makes me feel much better about myself
GTiL: Ha ha! Good.
Him: I’ve only had my size questioned once and that was a nightmare…
GTiL: I’m sure she was full of shit. And hopefully without incriminating myself I can say that you are well above his league.
Him: All I can say is my length is above normal but I am not huge. I have also been told my girth is what most like.
GTiL: I agree that it’s more about girth than length. But I disagree with people that say “size doesn’t make a difference” Who the fuck are they kidding?
GTiL: It was hard for me to feel sorry for this guy because he sucked in bed. He almost deserved to have a small penis and he surely did not make up for it in other ways.
Him: I think that statement really means that if you are at least average you’ll be ok. I don’t think that statement is about the Penne Pasta guys.
GTiL: Ha! That’s true.
Him: I have a friend that complains about her husbands size all the time. I tell her that is what she gets for falling in love with the uniform and not the man in it.
GTiL: Wow, really? I don’t think I’d have the balls to complain about my husband’s penis size. And if it was not adequate I would not have a ring on my finger in the first place. Maybe I place too much importance on sex in a relationship?
Him: No you don’t and I have to admit I am very surprised she ever married this guy. She has a big addiction to sex and can’t figure out why she settled. She fell in love with a Navy man and that is as far as she looked I guess.
GTiL: There’s countless people in my life that have “settled” for the one they married. I’m really amazed by the numbers. I can’t do any relationship unless I’m completely infatuated and connected with someone – and the sex has to be damn good.
Him: So Penne boy is off that list I take it?
GTiL: Long gone!

Profile: The Fetish

So, have you ever dated anyone with a fetish? I’m not talking about an “I think you have cute feet” type of thing, I’m talking about the kind of thing that when you are making love YOU are the third person in the room.

Milton had a fetish, and he was the very last guy on the planet that you would suspect of having non-traditional sexual preferences. He was as geeky and straight-laced as they come, although I’d like to think that our 2+ year relationship mellowed him out some. It certainly taught me a lot. At the top of the list of things that I learned was that sexuality is very individual, and very, very weird.

Milton’s fetish was fat. He loved fat women, he wanted to be fat himself (he wasn’t), and he was aroused by talking about weight gain, fat, and overeating. His ultimate fantasy was being grossly, debilitatingly fat and having sex with a woman so fat that she couldn’t move under her own power.

He kept this mostly to himself, not so much because he thought it was wrong, but because he knew how others would judge him. But of course as his girlfriend, I was very aware of it. I didn’t like it. It grossed me out. It brought up a lot of body image self-consciousness. It was the opposite of a turn-on for me. But I tried very hard to accept it. He couldn’t help it… it was literally the way he was wired sexually. And this experience gave me a very healthy respect for the immutable nature of sexuality. Milton had a thing for fat the way that gay people are gay. I couldn’t ask him to stop. He knew I hated it. But it was not going to change, and that was part of the full package of being with Milton.

I didn’t know about Milton’s fetish when we started dating. He was a virgin when he met me (although he lied and said he wasn’t, possibly the only thing he lied about in the 2+ years we dated), and I don’t even think he knew the extent of his fetish. Over the course of the relationship, my tolerance waned. Even as I came to understand fully that he couldn’t be any different, I resented it.  Before we broke up, I came to dread sleeping with Milton and would avoid it as much as possible. At the same time I felt guilty for not being able to get over my hang-ups. NOT a fun time in the bedroom for either of us.

This tension crept over into the rest of our relationship, or perhaps that was deteriorating on its own as well. I was getting ready to move on from a stagnant period in my life professionally and do some house cleaning personally as well. Milton was in it for the long haul… he wanted to be with me no matter what. As awful as our sex life had become, (for me, I still don’t even think he knows quite how miserable I was!) it was still agonizing for me to break up with him and move across the country.

I suspect that few people get to experience the kind of relationship that we were fortunate enough to have, outside the bedroom. He was 100% loyal and devoted to me. He truly loved me. He respected me and thought I was wonderful. We talked about everything and really cared what the other person thought. We never fought because we could discuss things and work it out. We could always make each other laugh. We were both thoughtful, introspective, positive, caring, curious people.

So lest you wonder why I stayed so long… there was a lot of baby in that bathwater. I may never find his equal.

(The story continues… read more about Milton in The Houseguest: Milton Reprised)

~ Sex Kitten (with claws)