The Man of My Dreams

As if my love life wasn’t complicated enough, I had to then meet The Man of My Dreams. As they often say, you will find the most wonderful people when you are not looking or expecting it. I’m very much a day-dreamer and have an imagination that usually runs wild and causes me heartache. I never considered the idea that I might actually find the man I’ve dreamed up in my  head.

I think I’ve known all along that The Man of My Dreams would be witty, charismatic, intelligent, kind, humble, quirky, very good looking and very sexually adventurous. I feel like I’ve known him all my life. We talk almost every day and aren’t afraid to share anything with each other. I feel like he knows me better than most of my friends and family. We relate to each other well because we are in the same career and regularly share experiences, ideas and tragedies with each other. I always feel we have a great deal of respect for one another even though we don’t always agree. He puts up with my sarcasm and attitude, he even banters with me and has an incredibly forgiving and kind soul.

I’m incredibly drawn to him both mentally and physically — an undeniable attraction and connection. He has a bad boy look that is a total turn-on for me. I love the sound of his voice and wish I could talk to him for hours. I’ve never kissed him but I can pretty much guarantee we’d have freakishly amazing sex. The biggest problem?  He’s on the If Onlys list — he’s unobtainable — for multiple reasons.

He asked me once if I could have one day with him without ever effecting our lives if I would take it. I told him “no” out of sheer self-preservation. I lied. There’s no way I could say no to that if I was lost in the moment.

He claims he was one of the “quiet, anti-social kids” growing up. He never went to Prom and rarely dated women. Which is ironic because he talks non-stop and has an incredibly intriguing sexual past. If there was one thing I could relive with this man, I’d want to take him to Prom. I can only imagine the temptation of this man in a tux would do to me. And the sexual fantasies that I’ve had with him and me in a dress would rock my world.

I’m not even sure what I like best about him. Whatever it is, it just blows me away. It’s just him. He knows he’s #1 on my list but he also knows I’m desperately seeking his replacement — if he exists.

This growing list of If Onlys is really starting to break my heart.



No lifeguard needed

I’ve been affectionately referring to one of my men as The Pool Man. I met him about 10 months ago at one of my favorite restaurants in town. My friends love the place so we happened to “run into” him rather often. He’s charismatic, charming, always buys the drinks and looks great “on paper”. He’s the son of a former Diplomat and was born in the U.S. but spent most of his first 25 years abroad in Europe and has a sweet accent to prove it. He speaks multiple languages and has 3 degrees and works for the government = money maker!

He’s 10 years older than me so for a while I was playing the “kiss ’em and leave ’em” game every time I saw him. Finally a few months ago I gave in and went home with him after a night of drinking. He drives a beautiful car, lives in a beautiful house and has a huge, glorious bed and the best in-ground pool I’ve ever skinny dipped in.

I never knew until that night that I completely blew his mind – This man absolutely adores me. He’s the conservative type when it comes to sex but I do enjoy that he gets right down to business and does not play games with what he wants – I’ve barely seen the rooms in his house but I sure know the bedroom well. I’ve never seen anyone take my clothes off so fast!

He needs some foreplay lessons that might help turn up the heat a little more but I have no other complaints otherwise. After a few nights of sex after meeting up at the bar I proposed a skinny dip in his pool – that’s what he gets for bragging about it! And it’s always been on my sexual Bucket List.

It was my first attempt at sex in a pool and it was an unforgettable experience. There’s things you can do with your body (thanks to buoyancy) that can never be done on land! I’m glad we are both good swimmers because we both graduated to the “deep end” with great pleasure.

I’m really having fun with Pool Man and I hope it continues. He did make the mistake of saying “I’m so in love with you” one morning after some great sex. Sigh. I might have to live up to my heartbreaker reputation once again.


Sending a woman flowers at work only makes coworkers jealous

My heart was really broken after my marriage. The only thing that could repair it was a charming prince – the Egyptian qualified.

He did things for  me that no one had ever done before. He bought me gifts of expensive jewelry, purses and clothes and he lavished me with his adoration. I regularly received flowers at work for “no reason” and he really made me see the materialistic side of love in true color. He had a six figure job, a great car, beautiful house in the suburbs and looked great “on paper”.

In the end, all the gifts in the world never made me love him back. He never cared about my hobbies, career, friends or family. I really lacked an emotional attachment to him. Sex was always initiated by me and I did all the work in bed – now I knew why men complained about that all the time! There is nothing more arousing for me than a man’s touch and he never seemed to understand that. It was just like the flowers he gave me – it died.

It was almost as if this man played the “Diva” role in the relationship. That was just too weird for me!

~ GTiL

Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want. ~ Martha Beck