Puzzle Pieces of Relationships

Submitted from our guest blogger “Sexy Legs”:

Trying to find the right mate can be a lot like putting a puzzle together. It starts off a jumbled mess of random pieces that you want to assemble to create something beautiful. You look at the picture on the box to see where the pieces are supposed to fit until the image is complete.

Finding the right relationship is very similar. We all have the picture in our heads of what our perfect relationship is. As we meet new people and date we get closer to completing that image. We learn which pieces fit where, find some that don’t seem to belong anywhere, some that fit only on two sides, continuing the process until there is only one piece left. Though the process is tedious, we learn from it. Things we like, things we don’t, and all the while the image of that “perfect” relationship ideal becomes clearer and clearer as we add each puzzle piece. One day, that certain person comes along that is like the “last” puzzle piece. The one that fits perfectly in that spot and completes the image and makes it reality.

When they kiss you for the first time and you feel the electricity to your toes. When you hold each other and your bodies meld together, and the curves of your bodies just mold to each other. When you make love and it seems like you move as one. Effortless, just like that last puzzle piece. There is no need to twist or manipulate the piece to try to make it fit, it just slides into place completing the picture you have in your head.

I seem to have found my last puzzle piece. The person who just ” fits” on all sides. I continue to be amazed at how effortless the relationship has evolved. I had always heard people talk about someone being the yin to their yang but honestly thought it was all bullshit. I was a confirmed cynic when it came to love and romance.

I had been in serious relationships before, even been married, but never have I felt the “click” that I felt when I met this man. I could almost hear that last piece snapping into place. On every front we fit: companionship, ideals, values, and passion. It all just works with no effort at all and it feels wonderful.

So next time you have that bad date, or horrible breakup, just think that you are one piece closer to finishing your puzzle and finding that last perfect fit.

~ Sexy Legs {guest blogger}


My sexual dating diatribe

So, what are you all about? What are you looking for on here?

Hmmm… that’s a loaded question. I’m not sure what I’m looking for on [insert ridiculous internet dating site name here] specifically … I have yet to find it.

From a life perspective, I’m looking for someone challenging enough to keep me interested; love life, sex and good times as much as I do — if it leads to more, then I’m interested. I’d love to be lost in a moment with someone and really have them care for me as much as I do for them … and be really sexually compatible.  I haven’t figured out if that’s too much to expect or realistic of another human being. Did I mention I like sex?

I’ve been deeply in love and I’ve had my share of flings that were as forgettable as a rainstorm. I’m okay with a great friend (with benefits) to spend time with too. After all, “dinner for one” night after night gets a little boring!

I keep giving it another shot until I find it. It’s the hard-headed redhead in me that refuses to give up. Bottoms up!

~ Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Evolution of online dating

It’s funny how my online dating experiences have evolved and I also see it in other profiles.

There’s that guy that is so possessive of himself that he gives off this giant “chip on the shoulder” attitude in his profile. He’s so adamant about a woman not “changing” him that he just puts it all out there. He’s the “I burp, I fart, I don’t have a job, I live with my mother and I don’t care what the fuck you think” kind of guy. I’m glad he’s confident in himself but I can’t imagine him ever giving a shit about me enough to even go on a date with that kind of attitude. What’s the point of even having a profile if you just want to be with yourself?

I consistently see folks that write “no drama and no games” in their profiles. How realistic and likely is this? Just because they met someone and fell for them hard and then got their heart broken they have now labeled it as a “game”? Perhaps the other person just didn’t see the world like they do and was unable to return the same feelings, emotions or physical connection. What is wrong with that?

Why would you WANT to be with someone that did not feel the same about you? Breaking up is hard but a necessity at that point – hearts mend over time. Don’t get mad because someone isn’t “right” for you.

The most boring clichés of online profiles:
– I’m laid back
– I’m easy-going
– I work hard and play hard too
– I don’t want drama or games
– I have a great sense of humor
– I’ve never done this before and I’m “just looking”

And then there’s the quintessential bathroom self-portrait … those just kill me. At least meeting people in bars was social interaction, with this online stuff I feel like I’m only getting lucky with my computer screen.

~ Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Happy Birthday to me!

I’ve been a slacker on the blog because I’ve been having a little too much fun! I’m long overdue on an update on my sexual shenanigans. It all started with the inevitable birthday celebration …

As usual, we ended up at the local Mexican place and Rico Suave joined us in the festivities. A pitcher of Margaritas and a soulful serenade of Feliz Cumpleaños later, I was headed home for the night. Birthdays during the week suck because I have to work!

Still feeling the ambition of the tequila I decided to take the dog for a short walk. Upon my return, I was met at the end of the drive by Mr Rico Suave making a bootie call. Why the hell not?  It’s my birthday … and I can never say no to foreign men. He has the most compelling grin and devilish eyes.

He’s such an instant turn-on for me, I think my pants were half off by the time we got into the house. It was quick and dirty, but really great sex for two drunks! LOL! He’s one of the best birthday presents a girl could ever have, even if he’s on the “casual sex” list.


Friends with benefits, so sooooooo many benefits

Hate me all you want for not writing for so long if you must; but if you want a real reason to hate me, read on.

It took a while after my divorce was over for me to get back into the swing of things, at least in the bedroom.  After over 9 years “off the market” the idea of finding someone who seemed worthy of a romp, much less getting naked with someone I don’t know very well … yeah … horrifying at best.

If you have to ease your way back into bed with someone, I always never recommend doing it with someone who you consider to be one of your best friends.  I also rarely take my own advice so guess what?  Who would’ve known that a man I have come to adore for who he is and how he makes me laugh and smile, who is 8 years my senior, and totally not my normal type … would be a rockstar in bed like I can not even express.

I’ll admit that sparks had been flying for some time.  Our version of fun together is breaking into abandoned, partially destroyed, and wildly unsafe buildings … to take pictures.  That’s smart … and a nice way to get the adrenaline juices flowing freely.  It didn’t take long for the innuendos to start flying between us, thick enough to cut with a knife.  Everyone who spent time with us asked if we were together, some even made comments about us needing to be separated via means such as fabric softener or pry bar.

But leave it to me to spin off a fantasy sexual relationship with a man who has a girlfriend.  So I did my best to behave—I suck at that.  After a few clearly intentional touches  from him on a very early, very cold, very abandoned Sunday morning, I made up my mind that at some point I would make that epic first post-divorce move and plant one on this guy.  I mean seriously, what did I have to lose?  A few days passed and he came for dinner.  We hung out for a while and in a random moment of silently looking at each other (and with the encouragement of half a bottle of Jim Beam) I literally announced “Fuck it!” out loud and then lunged across the room at him.

As if the fact that I had strong feelings for this guy wasn’t enough to complicate my barely post-divorce mind, he surprisingly not only accepted my advance but dove in head first.  Clothes flying in all directions, limbs tangled up, tongues and hands and lips running over skin like months worth of sexual tension had just broke.

I shit you not—THREE hours later—he was still going.  I on the other hand, was used to a “15 minute fuck and roll over” with my ex—I was a twisted combination of exhausted and so hooked it wasn’t even funny.

*NOTE TO WOMEN*  If you aren’t gonna give your man what he wants, the way he wants it, and make him squirm, moan and say “holy fuck” when he’s done, someone else will.  Apparently, I’m that someone.  Yeah I’m a dirty whore.  Guess what? I’m okay with it.

So its been just about a month and a half since my 3-hour-romp with an older man (who I adore) that has a 7-year-long relationship with a girlfriend who has NO idea there’s something going on.  I have a God given talent to ignore my conscious and a incredibly threadbare moral fiber which has allowed me to continue taking this guy into my bed for hours on end, sometimes 3 times a day.  It’s worth every second of it.  Gotta keep my heart and head in check, but that is a story (and a guy) for another day.

~Not Yer Bitch (but on occasion I’ll be his!)

It must be the red hair

If you’ve ever visited our Facebook page, you know that I like to have fun once in a while and do a “Red Head Sunday”. I’m working on one right now while I write this. I just love being a Ginger, but it took me quite a few years to grow into that love. I used to be “made fun of” for my white skin and freckles, and my typical sunburned skin in the summer months. Now I treasure my “different” look like no other.

I was eating lunch with a friend the other day and she commented on how men glance and sometimes stare when I’m around or pass them by. Even her husband noticed at the last event we attended. He said “does she know everyone is staring at her?” For some reason I never notice this unless someone points it out to me. If men are that visually attracted to me then why don’t they approach me?  Do I give off this “unapproachable vixen” vibe as well? I sure hope not! Even Sex Kitten thinks I’m a “Force of Nature” as she put it.

I have a birthday coming up this week and I was thoughtfully looking back on my dating life over the years. One simple fact is that I’ve NEVER asked a man on a date. That’s hilarious considering how many men I’ve dated minus the years with my ex-husband. I’m honestly not even sure how to pull it off … do I have the balls to do this?

So that’s my goal this year, I need to start “asking” instead of just going along with the hottie that approaches me. I don’t think it’s an insecurity issue or lack of self esteem, I think I just have terrible timing and I’m rather un-assuming about people’s opinions of me. I need to come to terms with how others see me and how I see myself. I don’t think I’m painfully lacking in self-awareness but it does throw me off a bit.

I think I might start by talking to the security guard at my office building. He’s a tall, dark and handsome type that always says “hi” and asks how my day is going. I’ve overheard the cleaning lady say “She’s so pretty!” to him as I leave the building so maybe she has him convinced and I’ll have bonus points for trying. I wonder if a redheaded tattooed sassy woman is his type … I’ll keep ya posted.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

The making of the best porn movie ever

There is one man in my life that makes me incredibly wet and horny as hell. He’s on my short-list of Best Sex Ever. I didn’t know it on our first encounter, but it’s an ill-fated relationship because he’s married. I always vowed never to be “the other woman” but now I’m officially a dirty bitch – but for this one, I don’t care.

Rico Suave is a real-life fantasy and I’m in total ecstasy when I’m with him. He’s 9 years younger than me and Mexican. He’s totally ripped in his arms and chest and has a very grab-able and lick-able ass. He has the most beautiful smile and is 100% man but without the ego – I don’t think he has any idea how hot and fuck-able he is.

I’ve known Rico Suave for almost 3 years and I recently saw him on a night out celebrating a birthday with friends. He is always a flirt with me and I was pleasantly surprised to see his car in my driveway when I got home.

If there is anyone who I might fantasize about it’s Rico Suave. There is so much passion and lust between us I feel like I’m in the hottest porn movie ever made. We went into my house and started kissing in the kitchen. He immediately went to my neck and breasts and then started pushing me toward the bedroom kissing me the whole way.

I barely remember him taking my clothes off or me undoing his. Within a minute his fingers were plunging into my wetness and I was moaning in pleasure. He pushed me onto the bed and teased me more with the tip of his hard cock and then thrust into me when he could not take any more.

He turned me and teased me from behind and I lifted my hips and he pushed in doggie style. I braced with my hands to make him go deeper and he pulled my head back with my long locks and teased me with his fingers to send me into a blissful orgasm.

I was completely lost in a world of ecstasy and eroticism at this point. He laid on his back and I covered him with my body teasing him with my erect nipples and wetness. I teased up and down his hard cock and then pushed down, letting him fill me. He held my breasts and I rocked my hips to yet another amazing orgasm.

He wasn’t done yet (thank goodness for younger men!) and he put me on my back and pushed into me. His body was slick with sweat and his muscles were pulsing and trembling as I ran my hands over him. I gripped his arms and wrapped my thighs around him to push him deeper into me. We both rode in rhythm until he exploded inside me and our flesh and muscles were twitching.

By far, some of the best sex I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to see my Rico Suave again. Every woman deserves to have sex this amazing at least once!

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Accepting truth and blowing off the hints

I have a lot of catching-up to do here. First off, Sex Kitten is right, I did hear from Airport Man via email. He said he’s been in Afghanistan but should be back in March and wants to come and see me – and of course he “thinks about me all the time”. Is there some sort of play-book here he’s writing from? I mean really, he must be horny at hell at this point. And then he signs off by saying “Have you thought about me from time to time?” Hmmmm … does thinking about his large throbbing dick count? That’s all I can remember right now … the licking, and kissing, and hot-as-hell sex. And it all just makes me super horny!

But the truth is, Airport Man is just not the guy for me. No matter how much my throbbing desires try to persuade me.

It’s gonna be a dry-spell kind of holiday … bring on the New Year!

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

I found the French hot button

Maybe I could even re-name it the “Easy Button” because that’s a good way to describe it = Sucking my fingers while he fingers me. I feel like I won the orgasm lottery!

Sex with him is slow, intense, deep and deliberate … And leaves me breathless. The passion in our bodies is so overwhelming I can barely put it into words. I love it when his arms and abs get hard when he’s pushing into me. I want to stop time when I’m naked with him – turn up the music, pull me in, because I want an overdose of this man!

After dinner and a movie we decided to hit a club for dancing and a few drinks. I loved feeling him get hard under his jeans in public. And even more fun to have everyone watch us dance “dirty” and tease each other – and the quintessential “I’m fucking you later” look.

The plus side of this is that I know he’s amazing in a hundred ways but the downside is that I have to keep saying goodbye. In the two years we’ve known each other, we’ve never made “plans” for a future visit. This time he asked if he could come back in January. I said yes … in a frighteningly committed way.

As they say: “Never go back to an old love, it’s like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends.” I know how this ends, but it’s a best-seller in my heart and always on my bookshelf.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Waking up in the arms of a French man

Sex Kitten is pissed at me but I think she’ll get over it. The French Man came back for a visit. He usually surprises me with a day or two notice – I can’t complain about the inconvenience – he wrote the book on seduction tactics.

After a drink at a local wine and tapas bar we got home and he pushed me against the wall; light teases, fierce kisses, licking and intense massaging all over my body until I almost exploded. I can’t even describe how stellar this man is in and out of bed.

I’m a boob girl. I don’t mean other boobs, just my own. I really need a man with a boob addiction. Nothing sends me over the edge more than teasing my breasts. The Frenchie mastered the hot button on me during our morning sex adventure.

He was laying behind me with one hand under and around me teasing my nipple. The other hand was between my legs with light-as-a-feather fingers gliding over me while he was thrusting and pushing into me from behind. I shuddered and shaked … It sent me over the edge to ecstasy.

We’ve definitely mastered the art of morning sex. And the whisker burn was worth it.  Je vous remercie de tout cœur.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

You’re fuckin lazy

I admit it.  When we separated, my husband hadn’t even been out of the house a full 48 hours when I logged online and ordered some personal pleasure items.  A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  And doing him, was clearly not in the stars for the time being.

I was like a little kid opening a present when my “tools” got here.  I say tools cuz well, I’m more of a get the job done kinda girl than a play around girl.  I don’t have time to spend hours and hours double clicking any mouse other than the one on my computer.

The first time was awkward but soon I realized that sometimes, we do ourselves better than others do.  Needless to say, I got my money out of them very quickly.

Fast forward to the douche bag husband coming out with the fact that he had been having a long-ish term affair, with a girl I know.

Nothing kills the sex drive like closing your eyes to masturbate and picturing your husband riding an ugly fat bitch who talks like a 15 year old valley girl and gets passed around like a mo-ped at a fraternity house.  My poor tools got shelved.  I tried.  Trust me, I tried.  And tried.  And tried to get even the slightest little fun out of it.  All I could think was that line from the old Greenday song “when masturbation’s lost its fun, you’re fucking lazy”.  Mother fucker!

After a few months of frustration building up I was ready to join the penguins and never have sex again.  Um … in case you missed that, penguins = nuns.  Don’t be offended.  Okay be offended, whatever.

Que a sexy South American man.  Oh yeah.  I said it, not Globe Trotter!  Who woulda thunk it?!?  The last few nap times and nights have been full of fun and games with my tools of the trade and thoughts of tanned hands running up and down my skin.  I got it back, the click click of the mouse and the boom that comes after it!  No thoughts of my cheating d-bag riding the hose beast like a cowboy runnin’ from the law!  I got my partial groove back … now lets just get some live meat in my bed!


No lifeguard needed

I’ve been affectionately referring to one of my men as The Pool Man. I met him about 10 months ago at one of my favorite restaurants in town. My friends love the place so we happened to “run into” him rather often. He’s charismatic, charming, always buys the drinks and looks great “on paper”. He’s the son of a former Diplomat and was born in the U.S. but spent most of his first 25 years abroad in Europe and has a sweet accent to prove it. He speaks multiple languages and has 3 degrees and works for the government = money maker!

He’s 10 years older than me so for a while I was playing the “kiss ’em and leave ’em” game every time I saw him. Finally a few months ago I gave in and went home with him after a night of drinking. He drives a beautiful car, lives in a beautiful house and has a huge, glorious bed and the best in-ground pool I’ve ever skinny dipped in.

I never knew until that night that I completely blew his mind – This man absolutely adores me. He’s the conservative type when it comes to sex but I do enjoy that he gets right down to business and does not play games with what he wants – I’ve barely seen the rooms in his house but I sure know the bedroom well. I’ve never seen anyone take my clothes off so fast!

He needs some foreplay lessons that might help turn up the heat a little more but I have no other complaints otherwise. After a few nights of sex after meeting up at the bar I proposed a skinny dip in his pool – that’s what he gets for bragging about it! And it’s always been on my sexual Bucket List.

It was my first attempt at sex in a pool and it was an unforgettable experience. There’s things you can do with your body (thanks to buoyancy) that can never be done on land! I’m glad we are both good swimmers because we both graduated to the “deep end” with great pleasure.

I’m really having fun with Pool Man and I hope it continues. He did make the mistake of saying “I’m so in love with you” one morning after some great sex. Sigh. I might have to live up to my heartbreaker reputation once again.


It’s all about sex

At what point do we realize that it’s all just about sex? And does that really matter?

I was recently traveling for a wedding and noticed the most beautiful man sitting near me at the airport. I’m not talking “oh he’s nice looking” I’m talking “I want to rip your clothes off in public” gorgeous. He belongs on a centerfold of Playgirl. Dark skin, full head of hair and a very grabable ass.

We landed for our connecting flight and he appeared out of nowhere next to me and said “You are beautiful!”. I think I could not move my feet or speak for at least 10 seconds. I somehow managed a “thank you”, determined he was traveling to see his family but lived in my town, and gave him my business card.

Two weeks later Airport Man started emailing me and sent me the quintessential “dick pic”. The guy was horny as hell and hung like a horse. My kind of guy! We planned dinner for a Friday night but the furthest we got was my bedroom. Airport Man can fuck like no other. He’s so talented he could probably get me off with both hands tied behind his back … hmmm that gives me an idea.

I digress … the part I find hilarious and well-schooled is that he keeps saying “It’s not about the sex” and that he wants to get to know me. Why can’t it be about sex? Please?  He’s really religious, doesn’t have a job right now, he doesn’t drink and he listens to classical music. Four huge deal breakers. How do I explain my disdain for organized religion? My addiction to rum? Or Nine Inch Nails screaming “I want to fuck you like an animal” out of my CD player in the car?  I don’t want or need him to look after me or comfort me. I just want his glorious, non-American, dark-skinned body in my bed.

I need to hang out in airports more often.


I went to France for the weekend

I was “set up” with a French man by a friend. I was pretty skeptical at first but decided to give it a whirl. She said he was a really great guy and she was right! He has the tall, dark and handsome thing going for him and I swear I could kiss him for hours – and I did.

He’s incredibly athletic – he runs, plays tennis, mountain bikes and swims. All great qualities for being really great in bed. He has the natural body of a tri-athlete without even trying. Did I mention he’s a great kisser?

I’ve never had anyone touch me the way he does, it turns me on in ways I can’t even describe. He will run his fingertips all over my body in ways that make me want scream with pleasure. He can bring every sense in my body to attention in seconds. And everything sounds so much sweeter when he says it in French. At first I thought he didn’t really know his way around the playing field of a woman’s body but he’s learned a lot about me and what I like over the past year. And did I mention he’s a great kisser?

He’s been my guiltless pleasure for the past two years. He’s super fun to travel with and has the same sarcastic sense of humor that I have. The way he looks at me from across the table at dinner makes my heart melt. I think we both have very strong feelings for each other, and in some shape or form really do love each other, but we will never admit it. I wish he would stay and get his Green Card because he’s a great kisser.

He’s made it clear that he doesn’t like hearing about me being with other men, but yet we both know making a commitment to each other is unlikely. We did make a promise to each other that we will continue having fun together until something changes – Which is my kind of compromise! One of our favorite places to go is the beach. I’ve put it on my love bucket list to have sex with him at some point while on a beach. I’d love it just for the memory.

And he’s a fabulous kisser.

~ GTiL