the first and last date

I’ve been the queen of One Hit Wonders and they are so frustrating. Even in my supreme efforts to vet each and every man prior to that first meeting I’ve been striking out lately. It all started with a guy I met about a year ago at a bar …

My coworker and I decided to bring our laptops to a local pub since our building lost power in a storm. Why not work and drink, right? We were chatting it up and I decided to ask her feedback on my online dating profile. A few beers later we were sending sassy messages to men and laughing very loudly at the bar. A rather cute man sat down next to me and asked what was so funny. I showed him our drunken shenanigans and he joined in too.

A few hours later I’d completely hit it off with this guy at the bar! It turned out that we were in the same career and had a lot in common. He was well-spoken, my age and from outside appearances, a GREAT guy. We met up a few times at the same bar over the next week and got to know each other more. We busily exchanged text messages and silly things via Facebook. But then I had to get my running shoes on …

One night in a drunken stupor [a week after we met] he proclaimed his love for me via text message at 2 AM. I actually said out loud “Are you fucking kidding me?” and ignored it. His perpetual “you are so beautiful” and “you have a perfect life” comments had already started wearing thin on me. I graciously accepted his compliments but yet held on to my imperfect sensibility and humble immortality – I’m not Barbie!

When I confronted the “love text” the next morning he had plenty of excuses for the behavior. I think then he realized he just created the opposite of what he intended. I’m not quite sure that I’d say I’m monogamy-impaired but I sure don’t want that noose squeezing me after a week of knowing the guy.

It happened again last week! I’m talking to a man and we get along GREAT. Yet before we even meet, he’s talking about how amazing I am and that he can’t believe I’m single … and how he wants to take a trip with me in October.  What the fuck dude?! What happened to dating and the elusive chase? The physical gestures and “I’m fucking you tonight” looks? He killed the first date before it even happened. I can’t fall for someone I’ve never met – just can’t do it.

Where have all the great guys gone?  Oh yeah, they are taken… or too far away … or just plain old American.

~ Globe Trotter in Lingerie

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I found the French hot button

Maybe I could even re-name it the “Easy Button” because that’s a good way to describe it = Sucking my fingers while he fingers me. I feel like I won the orgasm lottery!

Sex with him is slow, intense, deep and deliberate … And leaves me breathless. The passion in our bodies is so overwhelming I can barely put it into words. I love it when his arms and abs get hard when he’s pushing into me. I want to stop time when I’m naked with him – turn up the music, pull me in, because I want an overdose of this man!

After dinner and a movie we decided to hit a club for dancing and a few drinks. I loved feeling him get hard under his jeans in public. And even more fun to have everyone watch us dance “dirty” and tease each other – and the quintessential “I’m fucking you later” look.

The plus side of this is that I know he’s amazing in a hundred ways but the downside is that I have to keep saying goodbye. In the two years we’ve known each other, we’ve never made “plans” for a future visit. This time he asked if he could come back in January. I said yes … in a frighteningly committed way.

As they say: “Never go back to an old love, it’s like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends.” I know how this ends, but it’s a best-seller in my heart and always on my bookshelf.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

The Dilemma

Strivetwosucceed, a fellow WordPress blogger, read my post Ghosts of Dating Past and asked me an interesting question that was already on my mind:

What do you need to know about the other person to move from “casual dating” to something more substantial?

I’ve been wondering that myself, as there is a Something Serious candidate in my life at the moment, and I go back and forth about whether I want to be in a substantial relationship at this point in my life. The Potato Chip Theory of Dating would suggest that I don’t. And yet.

What makes a Something Serious candidate is his character. Character trumps nearly everything else, because it is immutable. Behavior can change. Circumstances can change. But character stays the same, and it is shockingly rare for me to encounter a person who has the caliber of character than I’m looking for and who also doesn’t exhibit any of the Seven Deadly Sins of Dating.

Is it part of the human condition to simultaneously crave freedom from loneliness and complete independence? Or am I just fucked?

~ Sex Kitten (with claws)

I went to France for the weekend

I was “set up” with a French man by a friend. I was pretty skeptical at first but decided to give it a whirl. She said he was a really great guy and she was right! He has the tall, dark and handsome thing going for him and I swear I could kiss him for hours – and I did.

He’s incredibly athletic – he runs, plays tennis, mountain bikes and swims. All great qualities for being really great in bed. He has the natural body of a tri-athlete without even trying. Did I mention he’s a great kisser?

I’ve never had anyone touch me the way he does, it turns me on in ways I can’t even describe. He will run his fingertips all over my body in ways that make me want scream with pleasure. He can bring every sense in my body to attention in seconds. And everything sounds so much sweeter when he says it in French. At first I thought he didn’t really know his way around the playing field of a woman’s body but he’s learned a lot about me and what I like over the past year. And did I mention he’s a great kisser?

He’s been my guiltless pleasure for the past two years. He’s super fun to travel with and has the same sarcastic sense of humor that I have. The way he looks at me from across the table at dinner makes my heart melt. I think we both have very strong feelings for each other, and in some shape or form really do love each other, but we will never admit it. I wish he would stay and get his Green Card because he’s a great kisser.

He’s made it clear that he doesn’t like hearing about me being with other men, but yet we both know making a commitment to each other is unlikely. We did make a promise to each other that we will continue having fun together until something changes – Which is my kind of compromise! One of our favorite places to go is the beach. I’ve put it on my love bucket list to have sex with him at some point while on a beach. I’d love it just for the memory.

And he’s a fabulous kisser.

~ GTiL