The making of the best porn movie ever

There is one man in my life that makes me incredibly wet and horny as hell. He’s on my short-list of Best Sex Ever. I didn’t know it on our first encounter, but it’s an ill-fated relationship because he’s married. I always vowed never to be “the other woman” but now I’m officially a dirty bitch – but for this one, I don’t care.

Rico Suave is a real-life fantasy and I’m in total ecstasy when I’m with him. He’s 9 years younger than me and Mexican. He’s totally ripped in his arms and chest and has a very grab-able and lick-able ass. He has the most beautiful smile and is 100% man but without the ego – I don’t think he has any idea how hot and fuck-able he is.

I’ve known Rico Suave for almost 3 years and I recently saw him on a night out celebrating a birthday with friends. He is always a flirt with me and I was pleasantly surprised to see his car in my driveway when I got home.

If there is anyone who I might fantasize about it’s Rico Suave. There is so much passion and lust between us I feel like I’m in the hottest porn movie ever made. We went into my house and started kissing in the kitchen. He immediately went to my neck and breasts and then started pushing me toward the bedroom kissing me the whole way.

I barely remember him taking my clothes off or me undoing his. Within a minute his fingers were plunging into my wetness and I was moaning in pleasure. He pushed me onto the bed and teased me more with the tip of his hard cock and then thrust into me when he could not take any more.

He turned me and teased me from behind and I lifted my hips and he pushed in doggie style. I braced with my hands to make him go deeper and he pulled my head back with my long locks and teased me with his fingers to send me into a blissful orgasm.

I was completely lost in a world of ecstasy and eroticism at this point. He laid on his back and I covered him with my body teasing him with my erect nipples and wetness. I teased up and down his hard cock and then pushed down, letting him fill me. He held my breasts and I rocked my hips to yet another amazing orgasm.

He wasn’t done yet (thank goodness for younger men!) and he put me on my back and pushed into me. His body was slick with sweat and his muscles were pulsing and trembling as I ran my hands over him. I gripped his arms and wrapped my thighs around him to push him deeper into me. We both rode in rhythm until he exploded inside me and our flesh and muscles were twitching.

By far, some of the best sex I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to see my Rico Suave again. Every woman deserves to have sex this amazing at least once!

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie


I’m a dirty girl now

A handful of my girlfriends invited me to a Chippendales show at a local bar. Of course I’m accepting that invite! Bonus is that none of them are prudish types and generally can keep their mouth shut about a crazy night out.

It was a really impressive show of six tight, tanned, hard-bodies that any woman could enjoy and well worth the small cover charge. They each had their own themed routine and style but one really stood out from the rest for me — A super hot, clean-cut guy wearing a sexy cowboy hat. He could move his hips and shake his ass like no other. This man was all pro and did it with a smile. that made me melt.

My girlfriends chipped in and bought me the VIP dance at the end of the night. With Enrique Iglesias’ Tonight I’m Fuckin’ You blaring out the front of the stage I knew I wanted HIM to dance for me. My motivation was clear to him and I got a few other lap dances but he awarded me THREE! Those were some well-earned dollars I shoved down his crotch.

He came out to the bar after the show to talk to me … shirtless. He’s very sweet and left me with a hug and a kiss. He was so fucking beautiful! Somehow he randomly tempted me a bit later to follow him around the back of the building in the dark. We started kissing and his hand was down my pants in an instant – I could not keep my hands off him.

One thing led to another and we ended up in the wooded area behind the bar – in total darkness. I shit you not, my jeans and panties hit the ground in less than a second. He never struggled with the zipper or anything – he was clearly and expert – and very good with his hands. I grabbed a tree and we fucked doggie style. It was some seriously hot sex for a totally random sexual encounter. Too bad he was being beckoned from the parking lot by his coworkers – I could have done that all night long!

So here I am killing two birds with one stone … it’s my first one-night stand and I can check off fucking a Chippendale dancer off my sexual bucket list. I love this life.

I’m officially awarding myself the Bad Decision Tiara for this one but refuse to regret something that damn fun! I don’t know what this does to the whole dating game for me … that’s probably pretty intimidating for any future lovers to find out about. How do I say “Oh yeah I fucked a really hot stripper and don’t know a thing about him”. So what happened in that woods, stays in the woods.

~Globe Trotter in Lingerie

Best of: Texts Actually on my Phone Right Now

The following are excerpts from actual text conversations on my phone right now. I thought I might let some of The Boys speak in their own words. Which could be a good thing… or maybe not so much.


The Cinematographer: Hey hot sauce

Me: Hey sweet tea. Catch up on your sleep?

TC: yes ma’am, when can we meet up?

Me: Dinner tonight? Lunch tomorrow?

TC: problem is I work tonight & double shift tomorrow

Me: So tell me what works for you. Sunday?

TC: I have my last exam in my college career monday so need to reserve sunday to study

Me: So maybe I could buy you a drink to celebrate on Monday night?

TC: Sounds good

[Me, in my head: Why, WHY is scheduling a simple date like pulling teeth with some guys? Just tell me when & where you idiot! Do you think you’ll EVER get laid being such a milquetoast?! If I wanted to do this all by myself I’d get a vibrator and save on my phone bill. Sheesh.]

Want to get to know this one better? Yeah, join the club. But just like me, you’ll have to wait until Monday! UPDATE 8/28… still waiting… but you can learn more that you probably wanted to know about The Cinematographer in the post The Art of the Dick Pic.



Adam (The Baptist): I still haven’t picked which horror movie to make you watch yet.

Me: I am NEVER losing a bet to you again. You are enjoying this WAY too much!

Adam: Yeah, I know I will love your reactions unless you seriously start crying. You just have to remember: fear is fun!

Me: Aren’t good Christians supposed to show more compassion for their fellow man? Your behavior has got to be a sin of some kind.

Adam: I think there is something in the Bible about paying your debts.

Me: Darn! I knew I should have read it. But I think you’re doing a pretty selective interpretation there. Don’t they frown on gambling at all?

Adam: Ha… don’t gamble what you can’t pay. I would have paid if I had lost. But I didn’t… although it was too close. Scary close!

Me: What about pre-marital sex? How do you get out of that one? Thought the Bible was pretty clear on that one….

Adam: Hmmm

[Me, in my head: You better clear that up pretty damn quick, my friend! ‘Cause there’s only one time an atheist calls on God, and I’m thinkin’ I’d like your help with that sometime soon….]

Want to get to know this one better? Check back soon for an upcoming profile on THE BAPTIST.  I also talk about Adam in the posts My Own Worst Enemy, The Games We Play, and The BDT Weekend.



Chris (The Unattainable): Thanks again for calling last week. It means so much to me that such an incredibly sweet and lovely girl is concerned about me. I can’t help but look forward to seeing your smile again.

Me: I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I miss you terribly, but I want you to be happy more than I want you.

Chris: Stop it! Someone so damn foxy is prohibited from also being so generous. You’re making other hot girls look really, really bad.

Me: Hot girls aren’t used to rejection. We just can’t believe it unless you really spell it out. It would make this a lot easier for me if you could please be more of an asshole.

Chris: Agreed. I’ll be a supreme douchebag, if you’ll ugly it up. I wish I could do something for you, darlin’.

Me: You have. For better or worse, I’ve discovered a capacity for attachment I didn’t realize that I had. I’m not sure why, I mean you’re great, but that doesn’t totally explain why I’m so crazy about you. So… just by being you, you have taught me something about myself that I am glad to know.

Chris: Wow. I’m so selfish to enjoy hearing that from you.

Me:  I’m more courageous than I gave myself credit for: I’m not afraid to feel for someone or express those feelings. Even when I know I can’t have what I want. None of this comes with an implied obligation, either. I just want to tell you the full truth.

Chris: That’s not an easy thing to do. And I only feel obliged to worship you, that’s all. Oh, and for the record… your lips must be enchanted by magical love gnomes, because you are an amazing smoocher.

Me: Um, yeah… you didn’t notice that our first kiss ended up lasting like half an hour? I get flashbacks. It’s like PTSD without the downsides.

Chris: Me too. Whoever taught you to kiss deserves a mountain in his name.

[Me, in my head: Then why, WHY don’t you love me? How can you be so nice to me and not love me? How can I be so pathetic? HOW CAN I BE THIS PATHETIC over some geeky guy?!!]

Want to get to know this one better? See the post Profile: The Unattainable.



The Soldier: Hey there, this is your Prince Charming!

Me: You’re going to have to be more specific….

TS: Ouch. So r u a party girl?

Me: It’s actually really funny that I’ve given you that impression. I’m the opposite of a party girl.

TS: yeah, yeah, I bet u are just playing little miss innocent, but have this crazy wild side

Me: Well, there is an officer on your base that knows all the dirt on me….

TS: I’m concerned now. U sound like trouble.

Me: They say if you go looking for trouble, you will find it!

TS: Want to meet me at my place tomorrow?

Me: Now you’re getting ahead of yourself. I mean I did warn you I’m smart, right? Or did I just mention funny and cute? ‘Cause smart girls meet first dates in a public place.

TS: I was planning on a nice dinner downtown. Tell me, will I get bonus points with you if I wear cowboy boots?

[Me, in my head: Buddy, it’s going to take more than cowboy boots to help you at this point. Is it too early to start regretting this date?]

Want to get to know this one better? He was a ONE DATE WONDER. Check back soon for an entry on the men who never made it past the first date, including this one THE SOLDIER.


That’s all for now!  ~ Sex Kitten (with claws)