Ghosts of Dating Past

I had the weirdest experience on Wednesday. I was on my way to a date with a brand new guy, The Geocacher, when I stopped into a Starbucks to visit the little girl’s room. Who should be sitting out front on his laptop but Jose. The Bruiser. My first online dating conquest of this year, and not exactly a fond memory. I didn’t catch sight of him until it would have drawn more attention to stop and turn back than to keep walking. Shit, oh shit I hope he doesn’t look up!

But what am I afraid of? He’s not with a girl. I look great (all women know that this is the most important consideration when running into one’s exes!). We left it fine, no animosity, just discomfort when I broke up with him for reasons of um, sexual incompatibility.

He doesn’t see me. And I’m left to wonder why I am so rattled by this close encounter. And I answer myself: probably because I just left the house of one guy on my way to a first date with another, and seeing Jose is a further reminder of how many lives have intersected with mine this year without leaving a lasting imprint or anything of importance whatsoever. Kind of makes me feel insubstantial, forgettable, possibly just a figment of the imagination.

Jose is not a ghost, but I’m starting to feel like one.

Too real? Yeah… for me, too.

~ Sex Kitten (with claws)

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3 responses

  1. My question for you is why do you feel transparent? Since I am new to the post, I had to go back and get some background on Jose. It’s clear that you are attractive, so what answers would you need to know from a guy during the dating process, to make it more substantial.

  2. Thanks for reading. Those are two great and thoughtful questions that I’m in the process of answering for myself in my real life. You have inspired me to blog about it, because I think many single people (men and women) struggle with some version of these questions: What do I need from the other person to consider moving from “just dating” to a “serious” relationship? Do I even want a serious relationship? What are the pros and cons?

    Please come back soon for my personal exploration… not sure I can promise answers, though!

  3. Pingback: The Dilemma | Orgazmic Vitality

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